|
| I just read Meg K's xanga, and I'm with her. Myspace is where it's at...so any new blogs will likely be found there. If ur not on the up and up, come check it out HERE. This is my music myspace.
Peace Kids
| | |
| Well I am gonna keep this short because I'm tired.
Today's Events
- found out I got a B+ on my Matthew Final...awesome
- recorded "On Your Porch" by the Format with Andy, it was fun
- nearly watched my girlfriend and friends wife drown (thats a little dramatic, but not that far from the truth)
*details - went tubing in Townsend, rapids, flipped tubes, more details later
- started a PureVolume site, not much to it yet, but there will be a little more soon
* Go and See it! CLICK HERE
Feel free to give me feedback on the little crappy recorded blurb of a song on there.
- talked with Marissa, it was good 
Alright, bedtime.
| | |
| ...Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm s o r r y
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you,
tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you
apart
| | |
| I'm sitting in the computer lab, having just printed out my final paper of my college career. I think it is anyway...lol, hope I'm not forgetting one. It's nice to be done with papers...wow. It's a crappy paper. I came up 500 words or so short of 2,000 but I honestly don't mind too much. I have come to the point where, knowing that I have already been cleared to graduate, I just have to "not fail" to get outta here alive. That is precisely what I'm doing.
I'm really tired and I'm skipping voice lessons today. I feel kinda bad, but they really aren't that helpful and I am just not in the mood for singing, so it would be unproductive anyway (right?).
I'm in this funk of wishing things didn't have to change, yet looking forward to something new. It's quite a juxtaposition and it makes me feel crappy a lot. I just know I'm going to miss so much, and so many people. In that regard, I hate change. Justin King has a song, he says, "Hey, it's just change, and it goes, like it goes. Like it goooooes." (with some nice melodic movement on the o of that last goes,  ) Well, is that true? Is it "just" change. I guess things change all the time. For 4 years though, things have been constant, at least to a degree. I live in Tennessee 8 or so months out of the year. I go to classes. I see the same faces. I have friends. I go home, but my plans all lead back to Johnson. How I pack up my dorm before summer is directly linked to how I want to unpack it next fall. Now...I go to Lebanon, IN...no job lined up. No friends in town. It's like, I can't lean on the crutch of the organization of school.
I mean, let's face it; all I had to worry about before each summer prior to this next one was what job I would land for 3 months before heading back to school. That's no longer the case. It's quite a development. Many would ask, "Well, aren't you excited about the prospect of NO MORE CLASSES??" I won't lie, I AM excited about that. However, at the cost of not seeing my friends anymore...the luster begins to wane. To think that this is IT...that after this May, I will have no excuse to walk around this campus as a student with a curfew. If I come here, it will be as an outsider (alumni yes, but not someone who BELONGS here). I will only be visiting people. That's just weird and something about it makes me a little bit sad. I won't say Johnson has been my ideal for the past 4 years, but it has been home. I am going to miss it a lot and I can only pray that what comes next is better. I have my doubts, as we all do at times. I don't know if I'll ever connect with people again. I have a hard time in new places with no friends. I suck at making friends and so I have to wonder...will I? Or will I be one of those people who go somewhere and just kinda loner around? I sure hope not, but that's a real fear I have. A fear that many would look at and say, "Are you serious? Just talk to people." This fear of being alone, I wonder how many other people have it?
It's all just so "up in the air" and I look forward to a time when things are just a bit more constant. Positively, this is a time where I can grow in faith. I guess I'm not scared about how things will work out...just that they will work out and I'll be unhappy...or alone...or both. I know God want's to give me the desires of my heart. Am I man enough to find out what that is? To put my faith all in God, not to try and do something on my own....I think I can do it. I hope so.
I'll miss you JBC
I'll miss you 3rd north.
I'll miss you Riss.
I'll miss you C.
and Meg, and CJ, and Keith, and Paul, and Vandy, and Jo Beth, Jeremy, Byrd, Tim, Heidi, Bethy, Ken, Blake, Wingfield, Farmer, Trin, Koestel, Carol...the list goes on and if you think I missed you, I didn't...but I WILL.
"Hey, it's just change. And it goes, like it goes."
| | |
| Well, here it is Saturday night and I'm just sitting at home, not really doing much of anything. It's been a good time home so far. I haven't really done...anything...productive, but sometimes being counter-productive is productive in it's own right. That is, I needed some time to just do nothing, or have not much of anything for me to do. That boils down to boredome eventually, but it makes for some relaxation, and a good reason to go back to doing stuff that, prior to boredome, is a drag to do. That might all be redundant and whatever, but this is how my mind works. (sad isn't it...?)
Anyways, graduation is THREE WEEKS away from yesterday...that is a little crazy. I mean, I'm going to be out of college...in the "real world" and as much as I look forward to that, its just hard to think about. There's so much that is in the "possible" category and a lot of that stuff is "possibly BAD." (here you see my pessimistic side...its about as infrequent as breathing is frequent) I don't have a job as of right now, although I'm going to see about working at Fed Ex in Indy. Frito Lay has pretty much been laid on the "No stack" since I've not seen any indication that they're hiring on the website. Which is ok. I really hated it there. The money was good, but I never talked to ANYONE, and i had to wear, get this, a flipping hair net. Yep, I KNOW, completely stupid. So a change of scenery is a nice idea. As far as moving back down to Knoxville, I mean, I want to. I have no one lined up to live with though. If any of you have any ideas, please let me know. I'm looking around for someone who is going to either live off campus and go to JBC or just live in Knoxville, and I won't be there till like, Augustish.
So much on the horizon and its a little intimidating, but, let's not forget the most important variable, which is not a variable at all (except for my part of the deal) but rather a constant, and that is God. No object lesson really measures up to this. Life...it seems, is the only REAL way to learn about life. Not that I can't take people for their word on certain experiences, but I mean a LOT of stuff...you just have to do, and screw up, and try again, and succeed, and fail, and realize, and change, and grow and learn. Lemme tell you, I have a lot of learning to do. Maybe we all do. But i WANT to learn.
Easter tomorrow, I'm glad to be home.
3 more weeks...let's make them awesome!
Until next time...
| | |
|
